Here’s my article about how me and Katy Perry would both spend our billions of dollars in similar ways. Hope you like it. Click here.
So I didn’t submit my article this week because I’m bad at everything and I lost $300 yesterday. And by lost I mean, I left it in the production office and now I can’t freaking find it. And my dog spilled a blueberry smoothie on my couch and now she is somehow not speaking to me. Just incase you want to compare lives and stuff.
This is the song I want playing while I walk down...
I’M ADDICTED TO GIRL SCOUT PATCHES →
This is my article for HelloGiggles where I basically congratulate myself for things like eating a whole pizza in one sitting and knowing all of the words to ‘Fancy’ by Reba McIntire. Who am I?
The nicest place on the internet
go here….if you need a hug.
Peanut butter will seal your airway and you will...
Last night I was eating a pancake with peanut butter on it. Am I the only one who puts peanut butter on pancakes? And I took a giant bite and started to choke. And then I just tried swallowing a lot because there was a giant glob of pancake stuck in my throat and the peanut butter was acting like glue. And nothing was happening and I seriously couldn’t breathe. And my dog just looked at me...
Do Not Stuff Your Bra With Jello Pudding
My article is here on HelloGiggles. Its about time travel. I hope you like it.
I just stepped in dog shit. I was wearing flip-flops and it got on my fucking bare foot skin. And my big toe. Like, in the nail part. Just incase you wanted to compare your life with my life. Your life is better than my life.
(oh, I wrote this for HGigs. I also lived it.))
HOW TO BE A BAD PROM CHAPERONE Prom. The ultimate public test of whether a girl can walk in sky-high heels and whether a guy can control his farts long enough to slow dance with said girl. And when I was asked to chaperone prom last week, I couldn’t help but take the long walk down memory lane. Read the rest here.
PICKUP LINES I WISH GUYS USED ON ME (my article...
Dating is the worst. Or maybe I am just the worst at it – sometimes it’s hard to tell. I’m sure a lot of it has to do with my hatred for small talk. Your mouth is moving about today’s weather and the traffic on the way over here and I just wanna get to the deep stuff. Like, how did you feel when you heard Camille Grammer was leaving Real Housewives? And then how did you feel when you found out...
I only like six people on Earth and four of them I have never even met and one of those four is Jenna Marbles. And there is probably a correlation between that and the fact that I just spent considerable time watching youtube videos of sheep herding dogs working harder than I’ve ever worked in my life.