June 2011
21 posts
tumblrbot asked: WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?
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My Will- If I die, do these things.
BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE, SOMEONE GO DELETE THE HISTORY ON MY COMPUTER!!! Ok, If you are reading this then I am probably dead. Or you are just reading a blog or something. UGH! Confusing. Ok, I’m probably not dead yet, you are just getting prepared whilst I’m still alive, incase I should die. Good. You are a good friend. By now, I assume you have cleared my computer history. Not to worry,...
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You know someone is your real friend when you can...
CALL ME!!!!!! I have called you a million times and it goes straight to voicemail. If I have to hear your voicemail one more time I will push my car down a hill, sprint, lay down in the road, and essentially run myself over with my own car. I won’t even die, Ill just be badly injured and then have to be committed to a psych ward for 5 years. Get out, become a stripper, overdose on...
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Hey Cameron Diaz, thanks for choosing another...
Hey Cameron Diaz, thanks for choosing another movie where you can make women look stupid/lazy/objectified/bad. You suck in such a major way! And you RUINED The Holiday (I know, old grudge). UGH! You need to knock that off so I can start forgiving you.
Anonymous asked: Why are you so funny? And no I am not being sarcastic... I am not on tumblr yet, but we know one another and I never cease to find myself giggling at your commentaries regarding all things in life. I have decided to remain mysterious for the moment so as to make you guess who I am....but we haven't hung out in a while... actually the last time I saw you I body checked you :)
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Shit
You Guys! There is a really fine line between something being ‘shit’ and something being ‘the shit’. One mean super BAD like poop and the other means super GOOD like cheetah nails. It’s getting really confusing for me so everyone stop using it.
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Today, I got floss stuck in my teeth. How's that...
Today, I got floss stuck in my teeth. How’s that for irony. What the f*$% did you do today?
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Spotted
Superfly Office on Wheels in the In N Out Burger parking lot. Trust that I DO want to go into business with you and I believe in you in a major way. Just one thing, if you buy houses, how come you live in your van? Also, can I really call you at 4:01 a.m.?
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Mad props to people who don't have bill pay.
Mad props to people who don’t have bill pay. If I actually had to remember to pay my bills each month, I would be living on a *curb alert* couch in a major way!
Anonymous asked: How come you're so damned cool? You're like the "It" girl for the new century. Teach those of us who aren't how to rock the cool, please.
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I Wanna Have a Sister Wife!
Let’s get some things straight. You know how some girls are “relationship people”? Whenever they describe themselves, they talk about how they are constantly in relationships, they just jump from one to another. I am not that girl. I am the opposite of that girl. I jump from not being in a relationship, straight into another bout of not being in a relationship. I know- my life...
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Midnight in Paris- Movie Review
Midnight In Paris Movie Review Outfit Spoiler Alert!! Rachel McAdams wears a belted shirtdress in EVERY scene of this movie. It happened so often and in so many different ways that I actually had to lean over to my friend, mid-movie (which is such a no-no!!! talking during a movie! I hate myself) and talk about how belted and shirtdressed this girl was. It was wackadoo! OK…so Woody Allen’s...
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Hangover II Review
When you think of Southern California, what do you think of? NO! Not mattresses covered with stains laying on the side of/in the middle of the road! Ew! I mean good stuff. Yes…there you go. Disneyland! I love Disneyland. In fact, I love it so much I bought an annual pass. I have been on those rides so many times I know exactly when it will swoop and turn and dive and twist. But the best...
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The 4 Worst Movie Theater Patrons
I have a lot of movie theater pet peeves. Okay. Fine! I am a movie theater dictator. I can’t help myself. The only thing acceptable in a movie theater is silence! I live in L.A. and my movie tickets are expensive ($12 and up). Plus, you know I had to buy popcorn! and Bunch-a-Crunch! and a Coke! This event costs more than the shoes I currently have on my feet ($6 from Rite-Aid- and they...
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The Beaver- Movie Review
Last night, I went to see The Beaver staring Mel Gibson (I know) and starring/directed by Jodie Foster. I know what you are thinking. The answer is- I went because there was an open bar. Oh, and there was a Q&A afterword with Mel and Jodie and I just couldn’t miss that. The film follows Walter (Mel) as he struggles to overcome depression and take back his family by speaking...
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Why is stopping for gas the worst thing in life?
Why is stopping for gas the worst thing in life? I will drive until my car starts to sputter before I will pull in for a fill up. Why? Why do I hate it so much? When I rationalize it in my brain, I tell my self that it will only take 3 minutes and I should just calm down with all my in-head cursing. I think it’s because I like living on the edge. My tags have been expired for months and I...
