I spend my days attending The Roseanne Conner School of Housewifery, working on my cookbook: 'Nacho Cheese-100 Ways,' and mastering impractical, purposeless skills that will never help me in my adult life, like playing pinball.
I just stepped in dog shit. I was wearing flip-flops and it got on my fucking bare foot skin. And my big toe. Like, in the nail part. Just incase you wanted to compare your life with my life. Your life is better than my life.